Tempting

Here are the world's most impossible socks---impossible to knit on without a microscope and a giant halogen boom light, impossible to finish for some reason even though I swear to buddha that I have knit 5 trillion rows on these freakin things since I started them at the turn of the century, and impossible to photograph. This would be photographic attempt #15,378.....

and #15, 379....


You will notice, despite the blurring and poor definition, that these socks still have no heels. Yes, I started a heel flap and then frogged it---between the splitting of the yarn, the slipperiness causing a giant long stitch at the start of the heel flap that didn't become apparent until 10 rows later, and the size zero needles they are being knit upon which is making me blind, they seem to just really be going nowhere right now.

But for reasons unknown to even me, I have forbidden myself to cast on another pair of socks until I somehow suffer my way through this pair to the bitter end. I mean, I didn't always have the hate for these socks---I love the cuff pattern and the colors. But suddenly it seems to be a case of them against me, so I have to come up with a solution to finish the rotten things somehow.

I'm not feeling the love for the standard heel flap, especially with this tiny, splitty yarn, so I'm thinking I might want to try a short-row heel, but.....

I have never yet tried to knit a short-row heel and I'm not sure how I feel about doing my first new heel experiment on a pair of socks that took so long to get this far. Perhaps I should save that attempt for a more plain sock that I haven't spent so much time on up to this point. I'm sorta feeling that there may be more bad juju ahead if I try my first attempt at a new technique on these socks, but there is always the lifeline option.

And there is a third solution that I have been pondering (besides frogging their nasty little butts into oblivion).....How about if they don't become socks at all? How about if they become a very lovely pair of nice, and better yet, almost finished, wrist warmers?! Ooooh, pretty!

Oooooh yeah---pretty TEMPTING!

Obviously, I can't seem to make a decision and if I don't make one soon, I will never get to cast on another pair of socks! (Again, I don't know why I feel I cannot cheat on these socks with a new pair---I guess I'm too loyal and feel I should have closure on this relationship before I move on to another.)

So what do you all think?

Slog back through the regular heel flaps?

Take a risk and try the short-row heels (keeping in mind that I usually screw up grandly the first time I try something new---that's how I learn), risking the demise of the pretty socks altogether?

Or turn them into a lovely pair of wrist warmers and move on to a relationship with a new sock. A sock that fulfills me and supports me emotionally. A sock that gives as well as takes.

I leave it to you to advise me whether I should kick the socks to the curb or give them another chance....

Meanwhile, you can find me fondling my sock yarn stash and hunting for that one special yarn, dreaming about if whether we could have a future together. Maybe even a sport-weight (yes, size does matter!). One without the tendency to split on me when things get rough. One that won't laugh at my size 2 or 3 needles, or leave me blind and alone at night when I need it most. One who has my need for warm feet in less than 5 years at the top of its priority list.

A good relationship is hard to find, my friends.

ETA: Oooh! Oooh! Found a great swap for the New Year! Go check out the Mmmm....Hot Cocoa Knitters Swap. Who couldn't use a little chocolatey and yarney goodness during the darkest, dullest part of the year? (If you decide to join in the fun, be sure to let them know in your comment that you saw it here!)

"How About A Nice Number Two?"

Warning: No knitting content, and if you are easily offended by bodily functions or lame scatalogical humor, read on at your own risk....


Has anyone seen that Supercuts television commercial where the giant robot hairstylist chases customers around holding huge, sharp scissors? And when the customers try to say what haircut they want, the robot repeats over and over again, "How about a nice number two, how about a nice number two...?"

I love that commercial! I'm sorry, but it just cracks.me.UP! I mean, do you think there is some subliminal, advertising trick reason for why they picked "#2" as the choice being offered? Hey, the road to adulthood is a long one, folks, and apparently I'm still winding my way through adolescence.

Maybe this ad makes me laugh because I used to be a hairstylist and worked for a while at a Supercuts. How much fun would I have had chasing after the customers who sat in my chair with big, sharp tools and a maniacal look, asking them if they'd like a "nice number two?"

Or then again, maybe it's because I am now a nurse, and get a little too big a kick out of the thought of some robotic nurse, chasing patients down the hallways, holding some dangerous-looking medical devices, while informing them, "Your doctor has ordered an enema for you----how about a nice number two!?"

Heh.

Don't laugh. With the nursing shortage it may be coming to that. If you ever see that add replicated to advertise your local community hospital and the robot is wearing a nurses' hat, be very afraid.

I think I've worked in the medical field for too long.....I need help.


However, if anyone feels in need of a "nice number two," I still hold both a valid Cosmetology license and a Registered Nurse license, so I'm qualified on both ends...give me a call and I'll see if I can help you out.....

Knits for the Slumpedy Cure

What is a girl supposed to knit when she is in a slump? Hmmmmm......

If she is feeling slumpy, she can't really take knitting too seriously for a while. Can't go around working on anything intricate or complicated while in a slump, now can she? That would be too tiring to contemplate while feeling slumpy.

I guess the answer to the dilemma is to knit items that are, well,...a little silly perhaps! I'm here to tell you that a sure cure for the slumpies is to knit one of these...

That's right, it's a tiny little dress. And yes, that's right, it's a dishcloth. Here is it adorning a bottle of dish soap...

Now how could I feel all slumpy-like after working on a dishcloth that's a dress? Silly, I know! But very fun and very quick to knit indeed----and a FO in a couple of hours! Definitely not slumpy!

In looking for something else silly to cure my slumpediness, I then moved on to this....

"Why Knotty Kitty, what the HELL is that?" you might ask. That, my dear friends, is an absolutely huge, pre-felted, moebius bowl, using a ton of leftover bulky wool stash! (The moebius part is the rim strip, which is a moebius band with I-cord bind-off). If it turns out big enough after felting, it will make a fine, cozy bed for some random cat to sleep in.

Here's a volunteer to test it out....

Toe-cat gives it a big thumbs up (because he has thumbs and he can do that)! I think he would be perfectly happy if I just left it as a lump of knitted wool---don't bother with the felting. A couple of minutes after I took this pic he was curled up in a happy little nap upon the giant basket!

I'm tellin' ya, if you are feeling a little slumpy, get to knitting on any silly project you can think of that doesn't involve any deadlines, stress or complicated knitting skills. Heck, it doesn't particularly even have to involve actual usefulness or wearability!

I'm not saying silly knitting is a total cure for the slumpedies, but chuckling my way through knitting a tiny little dress and a humongous, stash-busting basket certainly didn't hurt any!

I think I feel better already......:)

'Tis silliness and mirth Thursday

If any of you are fans of celtic music, or Irish and Scottish drinking songs, and also love your little sweet and well-behaved (but of course!) kitty(or kitties.....we are knitters, right?), have I got a CD for you! If any of the above applies to you, you really must check this out!

If you browse around the site, there are samples of the songs, as well as printed lyrics. Very silly and very funny! The CD is by Marc Gunn, who has a Celtic and Irish Music podcast on iTunes. If you like Irish/Scottish drinking tunes, pub songs, etc., you might want to check that out as well.

Had an extra day off from the Nurse Boiler Room Operation, now aka NBRO, (for reasons I will explain later), so made a little progress on a couple of almost-FO's. Still haven't taken the pictures, but hopefully will have a couple done by the next post.

I can't believe how long it is taking me lately to finish any of my knitting projects! Granted, I'm a slow knitter, but progress seems to have screeched to a halt recently. It seems I'm either working, or getting something ready for work, or too tired from work....you know the drill. Hopefully, some of that might be changing in the near future. I don't want to say anything yet because the exact plan is still up in the air, but I'll let you know when all is final.

So FO's and pics (hopefully) next time, and perhaps some big news about my status at the NBRO. Hope you check out the link and enjoy some fun music!