Thursday, November 29, 2007

"How About A Nice Number Two?"

Warning: No knitting content, and if you are easily offended by bodily functions or lame scatalogical humor, read on at your own risk....

Has anyone seen that Supercuts television commercial where the giant robot hairstylist chases customers around holding huge, sharp scissors? And when the customers try to say what haircut they want, the robot repeats over and over again, "How about a nice number two, how about a nice number two...?"

I love that commercial! I'm sorry, but it just! I mean, do you think there is some subliminal, advertising trick reason for why they picked "#2" as the choice being offered? Hey, the road to adulthood is a long one, folks, and apparently I'm still winding my way through adolescence.

Maybe this ad makes me laugh because I used to be a hairstylist and worked for a while at a Supercuts. How much fun would I have had chasing after the customers who sat in my chair with big, sharp tools and a maniacal look, asking them if they'd like a "nice number two?"

Or then again, maybe it's because I am now a nurse, and get a little too big a kick out of the thought of some robotic nurse, chasing patients down the hallways, holding some dangerous-looking medical devices, while informing them, "Your doctor has ordered an enema for you----how about a nice number two!?"


Don't laugh. With the nursing shortage it may be coming to that. If you ever see that add replicated to advertise your local community hospital and the robot is wearing a nurses' hat, be very afraid.

I think I've worked in the medical field for too long.....I need help.

However, if anyone feels in need of a "nice number two," I still hold both a valid Cosmetology license and a Registered Nurse license, so I'm qualified on both ends...give me a call and I'll see if I can help you out.....

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Knits for the Slumpedy Cure

What is a girl supposed to knit when she is in a slump? Hmmmmm......

If she is feeling slumpy, she can't really take knitting too seriously for a while. Can't go around working on anything intricate or complicated while in a slump, now can she? That would be too tiring to contemplate while feeling slumpy.

I guess the answer to the dilemma is to knit items that are, well,...a little silly perhaps! I'm here to tell you that a sure cure for the slumpies is to knit one of these...

That's right, it's a tiny little dress. And yes, that's right, it's a dishcloth. Here is it adorning a bottle of dish soap...

Now how could I feel all slumpy-like after working on a dishcloth that's a dress? Silly, I know! But very fun and very quick to knit indeed----and a FO in a couple of hours! Definitely not slumpy!

In looking for something else silly to cure my slumpediness, I then moved on to this....

"Why Knotty Kitty, what the HELL is that?" you might ask. That, my dear friends, is an absolutely huge, pre-felted, moebius bowl, using a ton of leftover bulky wool stash! (The moebius part is the rim strip, which is a moebius band with I-cord bind-off). If it turns out big enough after felting, it will make a fine, cozy bed for some random cat to sleep in.

Here's a volunteer to test it out....

Toe-cat gives it a big thumbs up (because he has thumbs and he can do that)! I think he would be perfectly happy if I just left it as a lump of knitted wool---don't bother with the felting. A couple of minutes after I took this pic he was curled up in a happy little nap upon the giant basket!

I'm tellin' ya, if you are feeling a little slumpy, get to knitting on any silly project you can think of that doesn't involve any deadlines, stress or complicated knitting skills. Heck, it doesn't particularly even have to involve actual usefulness or wearability!

I'm not saying silly knitting is a total cure for the slumpedies, but chuckling my way through knitting a tiny little dress and a humongous, stash-busting basket certainly didn't hurt any!

I think I feel better already......:)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Slump Day

I'm in a slump.

And as such, it would be fair to say that any blog post written by someone in such a state will undoubtedly by somewhat, well,...slumpy. I'm just sayin' is all, so don't go blaming me at the end when you've been exposed to slumpiness and try to say no one warned you.

I'm declaring that today is the official, unofficial Slump Day. I need to name it and expose it, bring it into the open to air out----then maybe it will go away.

I don't know who named Wednesdays as the official "Hump Day," but I figure I have just as much right as anyone to name a day, especially one as hated and dreaded by almost everyone as Mondays. So it is done. Today is Slump Day, says I. At least for this week.

I've been feeling kind of "meh" about everything for the past couple of weeks. I'm not depressed, and I don't have a bad attitude--just not terribly interested in one thing or the other. Like knitting. Or blogging.....especially blogging. I've worked on my knitting projects a little, but not much motivation there. You might have noticed an absence of blog posts recently. I think about blogging, but then---nothing.

I'm really happy to have time to myself again, to not have to go to a job I hate and get yelled at by pinheads every day, to have time to read, catch up, relax, play with the cats. Hey, I've even cooked regularly over the past two weeks---happily and without grumbling---and despite my husband looking at me like I must have gone insane. However, it seems I'm not really inspired to do anything that requires the least bit of mental effort----and I mean the least bit! Like I said, a slump.

Maybe it's the dreaded transition, for me, from summer to winter. It seems that winter has just sort of ushered itself in around here, shoving fall right out of the way. Yep, straight to the drippy, wet, windy and cold. Slump.

At the end of each summer I live in denial for as long as possible. I hate winter. I wear my flip-flops and summer clothes until I get so cold that I feel like I'm stepping outside in my underwear---that's when I finally give up and break out the dreaded long sleeves and closed-toe shoes. This year, my toes and forearms never even got to see most of September. What happened to those supposed lovely sunny, crisp days of fall? Didn't see many of those this year. Just wet.drippy.windy.cold. Today is all of the aforementioned.
(Did I mention I hate winter?) Slump.

I guess I'm not the only one having a slump---went to the Madrona Fiber Arts site today to try to register for a class for the upcoming Winter Retreat in February '08. For those of you not familiar, Madrona is a knitting retreat held at a hotel in a local town, with 4 days of classes, tons of different teachers, gatherings, banquets, get-togethers, marketplace and lots of fibery fun. Registration opens at a precise time on a precise day on line, and classes fill up before you can even get connected to the registration page.

However, the Madrona registration program must be having a slump as well. When I attempted to register, I was greeted with a page that stated "Registration temporarily closed due to technical difficulties." The same thing happened last year, I might add. I know the truth. "Technical difficulties" is just a fancy techno-name for....that's right....a slump.

And BTW, as has happened for every year in the past I've tried to sign up for classes at Madrona, by the time I check back and registration is up again, all of the classes will be magically full. I've never gotten into a class that I wanted there in the 5 years I've been trying to register, so nothing out of the ordinary on that front. But very much in keeping with Slump Day!

In truth, I shouldn't even have been tempted to try to register for Madrona, yet again, cuz the classes are waaaaay too expensive. I didn't want to take one of their dumb ole' classes anyway.....Successful registration at Madrona would have gone counter to true slumpiness and proper, respectful celebration of Slump Day.

I'm done now. Have a slumpety day!